It's All Coming Back To Me Now
by poemtoahorse
Summary: When did life get so hard? I don't feel like myself anymore, I'm falling into a hole but I don't have your hand to help me out. Myabe this is my last chance to make you see that if you wait just a bit more, everything will be worth it. Just have patience with me and I promise you that I'll make you happier than you've ever been. Lea and Dianna fic.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N**: This is a two shot fanfic. It's Lea-centric with bits of Dianna's perspective. This is my first Achele fanfic so I hope you like it. Reviews are always welcome! :)

**A/N2: **My other stories will be finished, don't worry. I'm just going through a writer's block on them.

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She knew that going to this party could not be a smart idea but they only had some weeks left of shooting and everyone – including her – was emotional about not working together anymore. What people didn't have a clue about is that she was tired of all this, her twitter stopped being hers and instead just another marketing tool to the show. She missed when she could tweet silly things just to make her fans smile and that's what hurts the most because she knows her fans are not happy with her anymore. She read their reactions to the lack of exclamation marks, the nonstop talk about Glee and the way she was becoming distant from her cast, a cast she used to spend all the days with even when they had a break from the set. Working on Broadway gave her a too hopeful vision of things, being on Broadway meant be free. People would just look at your talent as a singer and an actress; they didn't care about who you were dating as long as every night you'd be able to blow them away with your talent.

Now she is just a little piece that's controlled by the 'big guys' on FOX. But she loves her work nonetheless; being able to sing, dance, act and inspire so many people is a blessing. So that's why she is going to put on a smile and just have fun with her castmates like she used to, they were going to a private club after all. Her phone buzzes as she receives a text from Cory. Cory… That's a hard story… Ever since the ratings of the show dropped, the PR team called them for a meeting and they had to agree to pretend to be dating since they believed that the main actors dating was a good thing for the show and the main couple on screen. With a roll of her eyes, she finished zipping her boots, grabbing her keys before closing the door a little bit harder than necessary. The cool night breeze made her pull her sweater tighter around herself, and she's thankful that she chose to wear tight jeans that night. Cory is waiting for her outside his car, usually he wouldn't have to but now that they were pretending to date, paparazzis were all over the place and if they needed a show, they would get one. So that's why she reaches up on her tip toes to give Cory a peck on the lips, she hates doing that because he is like a brother to her and this just feels all kinds of wrong since they are not playing Rachel and Finn.

He turns up the radio to get them in the mood; she can see that he really needs this night off. He lost his freedom because of their new relationship and he is new to this TV world therefore the one suffering the most. She smiles softly at him, looking out the window and wondering what this night will bring, the butterflies on her stomach making her remember things that she'd rather not to. This night is not about that, this night is about having fun and not do anything stupid. Well, this works on her head. After a twenty minute ride, they arrive at the club, Ryan closed the club to the cast and crew. The club is not so big and it has a cozy architecture, Dianna used to talk about this club sometimes. She shakes her head at yet another memory, she hands her coat to Cory so he can hang it up, as soon as she steps into the bar, Chris is there to greet her. They envelope each other in a tight hug, she can see that he is already a little tipsy so she doesn't waste any time in grabbing a drink herself. She proceeds to greet and hug everyone, that's when she sees her sitting on a couch far away talking with Lexy. She has that feeling again, the same she has every time she sees Dianna… Her breath catches in her throat and suddenly is like the world around them disappears before her heart clenches and she is reminded that this can't happen. Not anymore. It's in fact a little pathetic that she still cares so much when it's obvious for everyone to see that Dianna has moved on to better things. She casts a glance at Lexy, shakes her head and makes her way to talk to Naya.

As the night goes on, she becomes drunker and this only leads to bad things. She makes her way to Heather in wobbly legs.

"Hi, girl!" She slaps Heather's butt lightly, getting her attention. Naya smirks at her, leaning against the bar. Lea is smiling at anyone who passes by, she just feels so carefree right now, a feeling she longed to feel and that was denied for so long.

"Hey there, Lee! I think you should stop drinking…" Heather says getting a hold of Lea's elbow to prevent her from falling.

Lea looks over to the dance floor, her eyes immediately falling on Dianna dancing in a rather provocative way with Lexy. The flashbacks were almost too much for her, her memory landed in a place where the most difficult thing was just to not kiss each other in front of people. Suddenly her throat feels raw and all she wants to do is march over there and rip Lexy off her girl but she knows she can't do that anymore, Dianna doesn't belong to her. In fact, Dianna apparently belongs to whoever she takes an interest into. Lea isn't gonna lie and say that she didn't notice the changes in Dianna, the way she started losing her cool more about their whole situation or the way she was always talking about being free to do whatever she wanted, so it wasn't long after that that Di said they couldn't stay together anymore. Lea tried to understand, she really did, she knew that Dianna grew up in an open minded family and to hold her back was a mistake but could she really be rational about this when they were so perfect for each other? How could she understand why Dianna was leaving her when all the moments they shared were so full of love and something like magic? But she couldn't do anything about it, she had to let her go and since then she realized that she was indeed holding her back. After their break up, Dianna went travelling and she had so many stories to share when she came back, so many new friendships and affairs that it was almost like their time together haven't happened at all. She didn't notice she was staring until she saw Dianna's eyes falling on her, she couldn't put her finger on what she saw there, it seemed like her ability to read Dianna had gone the moment Dianna left her but in moments like this when their gaze would lock that she could be sure that Dianna didn't forget what happened between them, that she could see something akin to hurt in her eyes.

Without a second thought, she grabbed Heather's hand and made her way to the dance floor. This wasn't a night to mourn over the past, Dianna moved on so why couldn't she? She let the beat of the music run through her veins and started dancing, her hips moving and her body giving itself over to the song. If Heather noticed the change in Lea, she didn't say anything, just let her be and if her friend needed to dance her problems away, what was the harm on that? Lea started moving her body against Heather's, her hands running through her own hair. She couldn't help but looking over to Dianna, she knew she shouldn't be doing that but her feelings almost all the time got the best of her, her heart was hammering against her chest, her lungs burning from all the dancing and the alcohol. She turned her back to Heather and grinded against her, she closed her eyes and maybe that was a move she shouldn't have done because as she kept on dancing, she noticed that something around her was wrong, for a split second she felt Heather pulling away but before she could process the action, she felt the warmth back on her. It could've been all the drinks but she could swear that the pair of arms around her waist weren't from Heather, the smell coming from this person was too familiar but she couldn't find within her to open her eyes. What if it wasn't her? What if it was only her imagination? It was a masochist move but she missed her so much that if this was all she was going to get, she would damn well keep her eyes closed and let her mind make her happy even if just for a second.

When Dianna saw Lea dancing right beside her, she couldn't stop staring. The way her body was moving was too much for her, without a second thought she tapped Heather's shoulder and didn't have to say anything because as soon as Heather looked into her eyes, she stepped away giving room to Dianna. She wrapped her arms around Lea's tiny waist and her body started buzzing from the contact, her neck was full on display since Lea was running her fingers through her hair and moving it to the opposite side. It didn't matter how many interesting women she met when she broke up with Lea because not a single one of them fitted so perfectly against her, she felt like home with Lea and all she wanted since she came to Los Angeles was to go home. But she knew she couldn't, now more than ever. They just had to hide before and even that made her run away, she was sure she couldn't stand seeing Lea kissing Cory casually like they were doing, she knew it was fake but was it really? She wasn't the jealous type, not at all but it was different from seeing them kissing as Rachel and Finn but now when they were last expecting, Lea and Cory would be on full make out on a restaurant or a concert. She knew they didn't like it the slightest but she wasn't strong enough to see her girlfriend kissing another person right in front of her. Then why was she letting Lea grind against her? She didn't know but at that moment it didn't matter because if this was all she would get, then be it.

Lea felt lips on her neck and her heart stopped for a second, her eyes flashed open. This… This couldn't be happening! Heather wouldn't be kissing her _neck_, right? She casted a glance over her shoulder and she found a pair of hazel eyes staring right back at her, a soft gasp fell from her lips, her eyes questioning, pleading. Dianna's lips closed around her neck again, this time harder, her eyes fluttered close, her hips grinding against Dianna almost immediately.

"W- wait." She turned to face Dianna, steadying herself placing her hands on Di's shoulder. "We should talk, we can't do this, Dianna…" She shakes her head, tears already prickling behind her eyes.

"You are right, maybe we should go outside and talk? I saw an alley on my way over here and I'm sure there won't be any paparazzis so you don't have to bring Cory with you." Dianna lets out a bitter laugh, shaking her head at the situation. The dread feeling on Lea's stomach becoming stronger at Dianna's words. They made their way outside the club without drawing much attention from their friends, because explaining why they would be going to an alley in the middle of the night would be hard.


	2. Chapter 2

She got a call that morning; Ryan told her that she needed to head to the studio in the afternoon to record her solo for the Nationals episode. It's been a week since the party happened and she still couldn't forget what happened that night, it was a mistake but that didn't mean it was bad, in fact it was really really good. She haven't spoken to Dianna ever since, all she heard about was that Dianna spent the weekend with Lexy, typical.

She gathers her things and head out the door to her car, this is not a time to be distracted by those things. She is about to record one of her favorite songs from Celine Dion and if she is honest to herself, her insides are a little giddy and she is feeling like Rachel Berry herself. After driving for what seemed like hours because of the stupid traffic, she arrives at the studio and is met with the person she last expected to be there. Dianna. She does her best to cover up her surprise and be polite when greeting her.

"Good afternoon, Dianna." She says with a nod of her head, Dianna looks up from the magazine she is reading on the couch, folding it and placing beside her. She looks at Lea and can't help the flutter on her stomach, she looks beautiful like always and her hair is wavy and curly on the ends just the way Dianna likes the best.

"Hello, Lea. I didn't know you'd be here today…" She trails off, when she got the call this morning, she forgot to ask who else would be on the studio that day. She just figured that it would be Amber or Naya to record their number for the episode.

"The same goes for you. I suppose you're here to record Edge Of Glory?" Lea takes the seat on the armchair on Dianna's opposite side, taking off her scarf and placing it on top of her purse. She pulls her phone out to make a quick tweet_. 'Just arrived at the studio to record a Rachel Berry solo! DiannaAgron is keeping me company' _As soon as she hit tweet, Dianna's phone beeped on her lap warning that she had been mentioned on a tweet. She reads it and smiles at Lea.

"Yes, I am and if I read correctly you're here to record your solo. I think you'll do wonderfully, that song seems to fit your voice really well." Dianna resumes her reading, she doesn't want to seem rude by taking her attention off Lea, it's just too hard to have the person you love standing in front of you and not be able to do anything about it. She already did enough damage that night and she blames herself for that because she didn't have the right to spend the night with Lea when she was the one who left.

Before any of them could say anything else, Lea heard her name being called. She started doing her warm ups, she looks over to Dianna. "Di, can you help me with that?" Lea always likes to sing a bit of a song with someone else to warm up her vocal chords and hit the notes properly, so Dianna folds the magazine again clearing her throat before singing.

"Lead the way, lady…" Her eyes widen in surprise when she notices what she called Lea, they haven't called each other like that since their break up but it's a habit hard to break. Lea's only response is a small smile. She opens her mouth and starts singing softly to 'Fly Me To The Moon', Dianna harmonizes with her for some time before they are interrupted again by the sound engineer. Lea gets up and heads to the room in front of them. Placing the headphones over her ears, she sees Dianna getting up and making her way to stand beside the engineer, grabbing a headphone herself to hear Lea singing.

After the sign, Lea starts singing and she mentally slaps herself for forgetting that Dianna couldn't stay there during _that _song! But now it's already too late and she has to sing or she'll miss her cue. "_There were nights when the wind was so cold that my body froze in bed if I just listened to it right outside the window. There were days when the sun was so cruel, that all the tears turned to dust and I just knew my eyes were drying up forever._" She closed her eyes, her mind travelling back to the days after Dianna broke up with her, how hard were the nights when she had to curl up in a ball in the middle of the bed to keep from breaking apart. "_I finished crying in the instant that you left and I can't remember where or when or how and I banished every memory you and I have ever made._" At that moment Lea fluttered her eyes open to look at Dianna, for so many months she refused to think of the time when they were together, she pushed all the thoughts aside and buried them deep down and now looking straight to Dianna's eyes she wanted her to understand the mess she left behind. "_But when you touch me like this and you hold me like that, I just have to admit that's all coming back to me. When I touch you like this and you hold me like that, it's so hard to believe but it's all coming back to me now._"She remembered every single detail of their night together on the previous week. As soon as they arrived at the alley it only took a look and they crashed their lips together, they didn't know how much they've missed each other until they were together again. Dianna pinned Lea against the wall and slipped her tongue inside her mouth, their kiss was deep, passionate and bruising and their hands couldn't stay on only one place, they were grabbing and caressing every inch of skin they could. When Dianna sucked on her neck, Lea lost all control she once had and moaned loudly as Dianna pulled away slightly and looked around to see if there was anyone around, deciding it was better if they left, she grabbed Lea's hand and dragged her to her car. Dianna drove faster than ever that night and as soon as they stepped out the elevator clothes were already ripped apart before even reaching the door, once inside they kept kissing and stumbling to get to the room as fast as they could. "_There were moments of gold and there were flashes of light, there were things I'd never do again but then they always seemed right. There were nights of endless pleasure, it was more than any laws allow._" As she finished that line, without breaking eye contact with Dianna, she wondered if Dianna's new lovers were better than her. It wasn't about ego or anything, she just wondered if they made her feel like Lea knew how to, if they could make Di's legs weak from a simple kiss.

Dianna was motionless as she listened to the song. The way Lea was looking at her was opening the wounds that she so carefully tried to heal but now they were split open and she could almost feel the blood running down inside her body. She wanted to run away from that studio, run away from everything that reminded her of their relationship but she couldn't. She still had to record her song and her feet felt too heavy at that moment so she just kept looking deep into Lea's eyes and hoped that the tears prickling behind her eyes wouldn't fall.

"_If I kiss you like this and if you whisper like that… It was lost long ago but it's all coming back to me." _As she stared at Dianna, the images wouldn't get out of her head. The way Dianna took her on the bed they used to make love almost daily, the things Dianna whispered in her ear that made her forget her own name. The moans and screams filled the room as perfect, slender, pale fingers worked inside her. "_If you want me like this and if you need me like that, it was dead long ago but it's all coming back to me now. It's so hard to resist and it's all coming back to me, I can't barely recall but it's all coming back to me now." _But the truth was, they could recall every single moment between them as if it happened only yesterday. Lea's eyes filled with tears and a few rolled down her cheeks, she didn't care if there were people around them, she just cared for the woman on the other side of the glass window. When she saw a tear rolling down Dianna's cheek, she couldn't help the sob that broke from her chest but she didn't stop singing, she had to finish this song and hope that Dianna understood everything she was trying to say. On this part she let the anger she felt towards the blonde make itself known even though it wasn't Dianna's fault their situation. "_But you were history with the slamming of the door and I made myself so strong again somehow, and I never wasted any of my time on you since then!_ _When you see me like this__and when I see you like that__then we see what we want to see__all coming back to me. __The flesh and the fantasies__all coming back to me__, __I can barely recall__but it's all coming back to me now_" Her voice softened and her eyes were pleading as she sang the next words and she hoped, God she hoped more than anything that everything would be alright. "_If you forgive me all this, if I forgive you all that, we forgive and forget and it's all coming back to me. And when you kiss me like this and when you touch me like that… It's all coming back to me now. And if…" _She finished the song taking deep breaths and waited for whatever reaction Dianna could have. Dianna wipped the tears away from her cheeks and her heart was aching so bad that she was afraid of moving because if she did, everything would fall apart. So they just stared at each other through the glass and hoped that someday they would be together, that all this craziness from the TV world would let them live the way they dreamed of and hopefully by then they would still be waiting for each other.


End file.
